Hueco Tanks - Nov 7, 2010 - Day 3

by Christian R. (guest blogger)

I wake up in the morning and I raise my weary head.

I've got a sleeping bag for a blanket and a crash pad for my bed.

I'm not sure where we're going and only God knows where we've been.

I'm a devil here for fun in a nine climber posse, a candle in the wind...

We eat some delicious breakfast burritos prepared by Carine and head over to the Split Boulder for some morning highball shenanigans. There's a 3-star classic called Split Crack visible from the road that has somehow avoided the skull and crossbones designation in the guidebook, despite being close to thirty feet high. I eagerly jump on this enticing line, while deep down I secretly worry about my serious lack of crack climbing skills. Hand jam after hand jam, followed by stemming and more hand jams. My breathing quickens as I approach the boulder's crux. I look down at my lone crash pad, which now looks to be the size of a piece of toast and is way too far over to the right to be of any use. I search desperately for a jug or even a crimper, but there is nothing to help this lost boulderer. I spy a narrowing of the crack high above my head and shove my entire fist deep into the orifice of the problem. It's bomber! Who needs coffee when you're hanging off a fist jam with nothin' but twenty feet of air beneath your feet? After getting my breathing back to normal, I finish off the rest of the climb in style. Wow, what a line. Maybe there's some trad climbing in my future after all.

John, Scott, and Eric have already left us in search of the mysterious Wicicala Cave (V5), but Calvin, the girls, and I are happy as clams, climbing the numerous classic lines of the Split Boulder. Every time I look at Calvin, he's got this perma-grin on his face. The guy obviously is in heaven and can't get enough of the awesome bouldering that is so readily available here. I'm also in heaven, but for different reasons. I'm in heaven while watching Yoli send just about everything in sight. Gone is the nervousness that used to prevail on her face as a result of one too many trips to the ER stemming from bouldering falls gone bad. Here to stay is her warm smile followed by the look of determination as she crushes every boulder problem in her path.

After climbing almost every problem on the Split Boulder, we make our way North toward the Lunch Rocks area. The girls jump on the classic 3-star Orifice Affair (V1), while Calvin and I attempt to tackle Coffee Achiever (V5). Our attempts on Coffee Achiever are humbling and I leave the Lunch Rocks area with my tail between my legs. Calvin stays behind and makes an attempt on Orifice Affair in his approach shoes, but is quickly thwarted. The girls are able to cross Orifice Affair off their lists, Yoli on the 2^nd go, Jamie with the beta flash, and Carine with the redpoint.

Anxious to see the Wicicala Cave, I head South following the screams and shouts emanating from the distant boulders. Upon arriving, I find John topping out on Birth Rights (V3), while Scott and Eric spot from below. To my left is the Wicicala Cave. They've somehow managed to restrain themselves from climbing this stellar line, but that doesn't last long. Scott jumps on Wicicala with a twinkle in his eye and puts down one of the most impressive burns of the trip, almost sending Wicicala on his first try. After a short rest, Scott destroys Wicicala Cave (V5), leaving the rest of us to ponder what the hell just happened. After countless attempts, Calvin and I are finally able to send and John is so close he can practically lick the finishing holds with his tongue!

I head over to the Morgue and watch as Angie and Jamie both stick the huge crux move on T-Bone Shuffle (V4). Knowing they can do every move on the problem, they try as hard as they can to link the problem together, but T-Bone just won't give in.

Angie and Jaime working hard on "T-Bone Shuffle".

We pack up our stuff and drive over to the Pond Parking lot, where we get ready for the hardest hike of the trip. Our arduous journey will take us to one solitary boulder problem, the Ghetto Simulator. There are over 1700 boulder problems in Hueco Tanks and the Ghetto Simulator is arguably the best of the best.

Scotty on the hike out to Ghetto Simulator

The hike is difficult, but as we near the boulder, my feet become light and my mood is giddy. I race to the base of the boulder and slide on my shoes. I feel like a virgin as I caress the starting holds. “Be gentle,” I whisper to the climb as I pull off the ground. It is everything I remember. It is perfection on a boulder.

Scott climbs the Simulator next and remarks that he's just had an orgasm. Calvin pulls on to the start holds after Scott's send, unaware of the difficulties that lie near the end. He gets a little crossed up on the finishing crimps, but is still able to get the flash. Yoli comes so close to slaying the beast on her first try, but my less than stellar beta is her demise. She quickly figures out her own beta and sends on her second go. Yoli's trip is now complete.

Yoli and Carine on Ghetto Simulator - V2

As we head back up the hill towards the North Mountain Meadow, we are content, knowing in our hearts that we have done this place justice. Hueco gives a sigh of relief and the sun dips below the horizon yet again.

Here is the ticklist from Day 3:

Split Crack (V0) - CR Onsight, CH Flash

Banana Split (V0) - CH Onsight, Yoli Flash, CR Flash, Carine Flash, Angie Flash, Jaime Flash

7-10 Split (V0) - CR Onsight, YC Flash, CH Flash, Jaime Flash, Carine Flash, Angie Flash

Splitter Splatter (V1) - The climb up the arete to the right of 7-10 Split - CH Onsight, CR and Jaime Redpoint. Angie and Yoli worked on it.

Splitting Hairs (V0) - Goes up to the tree, just right of the down climb - CR Onsight, YC flash. No one else wanted to climb in the tree.

Coffee Achiever (V5) – CR and CH work on it, but no send.

Orifice Affair (V1) - Yoli 2nd, Jaime Flash. Angie and Carine worked on it, and Calvin tried it once with approach shoes, but no send.

Sculpture (V2) – Yoli works on it, but no send.

Wicicala Cave (V5) - Scott 2nd or 3rd go. CR and CH Redpoint. John and Yoli worked on it.

Birth Rights (V3) - John K, CR Flash.

Birth Lefts (V1) - YC Onsight, Jaime Flash, and Carine Redpoint. I think Scott and John sent it, not sure how many tries.

T-Bone Shuffle (V4) - Angie and Jamie get really close, but no sends.

Ghetto Simulator (V2) - CR Repeat, SS Repeat, CH Flash, and YC 2nd. Carine and Jaime worked on it.

Lobster Claw (V5) - CH works it and gets very close, but no send on Day 3.

King Cobra (V6) - Did SS work this a little on Day 3? Can't remember, no send.