Secret Garden, Kalymnos Aug/Sept 2013

Breakfast at Cafe Sofranos.

 "You must climb this one. It's a new route. Very nice."

I looked over my shoulder, and noticed a diminutive woman speaking accented English. Karen had bronzed skin, the type of color you only get from a lifetime of outdoor activity. She looked fit and her eyes carried an ocean of climbing knowledge.

"You climb this one." She gestured at the end of the wall.
"It's only 8a+."

8a+. I thought about that, did the conversion to the YDS scale Americans use and came up with... .13c. .13c? No fucking way. Even if people claimed Kalymnian grades were a bit soft, that was several grades above my limit.

"Uh, I think 8a+ is a bit too much for me. Maybe something in the 7b range?"

"Oh." Karen was disappointed. She shrugged, then immediately brightened.
"Here, this one. Wonderful climb. You must climb it. 7b+. Easy." Karen was pointing at another climb. My gaze followed her arm, culminating in an interesting 120 feet of stalactites, a giant 40 foot tufa, and a small roof.

"Yeah, I saw that. Saw some monos... not sure about that."

"Mono? Oh yes." Karen wasn't deterred.
"Easy. Your finger goes up to here." Karen pointed to the first joint on her index finger, as if to say that was plenty deep for a mono.

"Look here. The nachtpunkt. You go like this. Then this." Karen showed me how to do what I thought was the crux.
"After that, finished. Easy."

About 20 minutes later, I was perched at the top of the tufa, frantically shaking my arms. If my arms had the power of speech, epithets would have been ringing in my ears.

Easy. Right. Early climbing led to a tough sloper, crossing into a two finger pocket and pulling hard to a decent crimp. I managed the move, and thought, "Finished. Easy."

Calvin looking at what he thinks is the crux. Sucka.

I'd thought wrong.

Random climber showing how it's done

Later That Day

"Did you see that?" Angie whispered.
"See what?"
"Look over there." Angie nodded discreetly.

I did a double take. A woman was climbing topless. On that 8a+, it looked like. She was bronzed, all over, like she'd been climbing outside all her life. I found myself wondering vaguely if the sunburn had ever been rough. Of course, it was Karen.