Would you please put a shirt on?*

*Would you brush my teeth?

Climbers:
Jaimie, John and little Connor, Scott, Meghan, Tara and Craig , Tall Tim, Sharon, Carolyn and Tommy, Calvin and Angie, Yoli and Christian, Sophie.

HORSESHOE CANYON, AR. Memorial day Week-End.

The spring storms had been rolling in on and off in the Saint Louis area, sometimes bringing apocalyptic shows and yes... puddles in my basement. But for the WE the forecast had cleared, somewhat miraculously. Arkansas looked like the sunny spot to be
Craig and Tara had been floating on the Buffalo river for the past week, and had secured a camping area for us which was quite lucky on a week-end we knew was going to be busy at the Ranch.
By Friday night everyone had arrived but for Calvin and Angie and Tommy and Carolyn. Yoli and Christian were in their "secret camping spot" and would meet us in the morning.

Saturday morning, the sun rose on a cloudless sky and a bit of warm weather. But whoever knows this area in the summer will attest this was "ideal". Stay out of the sun and you would be a happy climber. And that was the plan.
I love camping. I have already an internal clock very much based on the daylight ( and get teased about it endlessly) but when I camp, it is even more of an incentive for me to follow the sun patterns. And this is the season when the sun is an early bird. By 5:30 am/6:00 I am fully awake. Through the mesh of my tent, the starry sky was chased away by dawn. The morning fog is slowly rising on the Eastern side of the canyon, the air still crisp. Let's go climb!
By 6:30 am half of our group is already moving around. Craig has emerged from his tent and his going through his morning stretch routine.
"For Pete's sake, Craig, would you put a shirt on, you make me feel bad!"
Scott just came out of his morning daze with the shirtless vision of our friend!
I do not mind Scotty...don't know what's your problem!
Yoli and Christian roll in, half awake.
We are ready to go by 7:00/7:30.

Mr Magoo Rock is our first stop for the day. A detached boulder on the Western side of the Ranch, Mr Magoo offers some splendid lines. Scott and I are on a mission: 10 routes today. By 9:30/10:00 am we are on our way to a good start. He has 6 , I have 5!
Everyone takes turns on Man Servant a powerful 5.9 arete, while Tall Tim, Sharon and Tara go warm up on Memoirs of Daisha 7 and The Flying Daisha 6, coming back around the corner to join us on Road Hoag 10a. We then move on our warm up to Mr Magoo, the classic 10b, Mr Charlie (pumpy 10d), and Christian and Scott finish off on Heavy Stigmatism 11b, Scott pulling the rope with a gigantic knot in it! Ah it takes a PHD...never mind I am just an artist what do I know? eh eh. Scott just wanted to climb one more route.
It is not even 10 yet....oh yeah we are on the roll.
The sun is moving fast and gets ready to hit the Eastern face of the canyon. It will be time to move across soon.
Just enough time to get one or two climbs on the far East faces.
King Kong, 11a for Craig, Scott and I while the others move on to Orange Crush, 9+ and Purple Nehi, 11b.
King Kong is a great line, sustained and keeping you on your toes pretty much the whole way. I had never done it on lead and was really happy to finish it with just one fall while the boys crushed it in great fashion, the three of us using very different beta (imagine that!)!
The trickiest part of all was to pull the rope away from the poison ivy which has invaded the base of that wall, making falls before the first clip even less inviting. A good incentive to go up!
A hike across the canyon brings us back to the campsite as the sun is brushing the faces we were just climbing. A little lunch pause means siesta time for Super Craig. Scott follows suit while Connor is working on some good healthy food.



By 2:00 pm the Western walls are more in the shade. Time for some little trad action! Craig is leading Tara, Meghan, Scott and I towards a line, Deft Jam, a classic 9 hand crack. The rest of the group is still in nap mode and will end up bouldering at the Idahoes.
The spring has been quite wet, and nature has taken over. A blanket of poison ivy is covering the grounds all the way to the Confederate Cracks wall. We really wanted to climb some crack but not at the price of itching for days. I have never seen the Ranch so lush, beautiful yet deadly.
Plan B, another classic for which the approach is clear: Hackberry Crack a 9 splitter crack.


I had done that crack on gear over two years ago, back in the days I was doing more Trad. Funny then it felt comfortable and moderate. I looked at this thing, and nope it was not going to be my choice for a return to Trad! And I was glad I followed it! Scott lead it without much problem, climbing with style...did I hear a grunt?

And we all took TR turns on it. Meghan, on one of her first true crack climb showed she was a natural, and Tara flew up it (it must help to live with a "crack-nut" Craig that is). Craig used it as his lap-route (TR and lead)...



We then decided to get away from the "rain forest" and head down to the North Forties.
"10 routes we have to get to 10 routes!"
Scott was insistent. he was on a mission. Our morning rhythm had let up a bit!
"Come on Sof let's finish this!"
Scotty was on climbing overdose, judge for yourself:

Our energy level was starting to crash. I knew I had maybe a couple moderate routes in me, that was it. Then I realized I was facing my chance to get my trad head back on. Green Goblins, an 8 I have climbed many times used to be a trad route. Perfect, I would do it on gear. If I would freak out I could go for the bolt! Not the purest thing to do maybe but safe enough! So while Craig and Scott were scaling Sonny Jim, an 11a next to Lavender Eye, I racked up (Craig style_with a gear loop sling_which I had never used before) and headed for my first placement.

Ah...more than 2 years with no trad and suddenly placement are not so smooth, reminding me, trad is also about finding that more comfortable stance. First cam in: solid, resisting fine under a strong pull. and then just before I decide to move on I test it one more time and the piece comes right off. Right Sof. Let's see about the left side if I have more luck. A bit of placement struggle at the beginning which made my very patient belayer Meghan a bit nervous, and then I found my groove and my run-out towards the top!!
Cool that felt good. Scotty 8 routes will do for me!
Here is Scotty on Sonny Jim, his 8th or ninth route of the day:

And Meghan on a new route right of Green Goblin (8, 9?):

Scotty made it to 10 routes that day. Animal. I knew I was going to feel the day in the morning. 8 was plenty for me. As the light was dimming I headed back to camp to find the rest of our friends already tucked into camping chairs sipping on beer having a few laughs with Carolyn and Thommy who had made it in shortly before. Sounded good. Dinner could wait a bit!
While laughing on the events of the day, we had additional entertainment provided by some brainless guy who thought it was a good idea to "parade" his tiny Honda Civic capped with a full size canoe up and down the very rough road leading to the upper campground. at the rate of his round trips, not one but 4 of them, it looked like he was too lazy to WALK down (a mere 5 minutes walk) to the camp store! The fact he was rolling up and down way too fast and that his (but was it his?) car was bottoming out at every rock did not seem to phase him a bit. By the fourth trip, we gave him a sarcastic applause, raising our beers to his endless idiocy.
By dinner time Calvin and Angie rolled in. Time for a round of Jadan, this crazy card game Yoli and Christian had taught us at the Red.
The night was clear and the sky full of stars. Another good day awaiting.

Sunday.
Yes indeed the campers of HCR seem to offer free entertainment. Meghan wakes up to an odd scene indeed: walking to get water, she runs into our "neighbors" going through their morning "routine". Odd one that is, the guy leaning towards his girlfriend brushing her teeth. No, no typo: HE was brushing HER teeth. OK that is weird. Needless to say that would become the quote of the day "would you brush my teeth". Yes I know very little can entertain our joyous group.
Thanks to the early morning light, we had another early start under perfect clear skies. Headed towards the North 40s, where some of the members of our group had never climbed, we lined up a few warm-ups before hitting a few harder lines. Lavender Eye (12a), Big Top (11c), Love Slave (11c), Mine Mine Mine (11d) and a new line next to Love Slave among others.
By noon, dark clouds had rolled in. Out of nowhere it looked like a storm was brewing. Sure enough. I was on Love Slave about to attack the crux, when thunder and lightning tore the sky.
Angie who was belaying me got me down in a hurry. Our tents where not covered. No rain fly so confident we were with the forecast! We raced down the campground under pouring rain, to be stopped half way by Craig telling us Scotty had taken care of all the tents.
My hero.
In fact his bowel movement had saved us! He was in the camp area's bathroom when the sky came down!
The rest of the climbing day was pretty much a wash. Love Slave and Mine Mine Mine remained dry (besides Love Slave's top out which was rather soaked) and some of us played on them for bit. But the range of climbing was now reduced to these couple of lines. Yoli could not climb anymore as she had developed a mega flapper on Mine Mine Mine. It was not long before we headed back to camp and called it a day. A pizza in the little town of Jasper sounded pretty good then.
....
To be continued